Today I woke up from another dream (I get those often from time to time) in waking up I couldn't fall back asleep. I look out the window see the dark sky drifting off watching the cars drive by on the highway. I remembered that today is my childhood best friend's birthday. Our families were the first to move into a newly developed middle class neighborhood. Gigs was my first friend in the neighborhood. He gave me my first kiss on the cheek at the age of 2 and I gave him his first whack with my sippy cup. He was also my first puppy love / crush. The cool breath of the earth , the blue-orange haze coming through my window and warm memoires of a dearly missed childhood love has me unable to go back to drift into my dreams. I guess now is a good time to write something new for my 1st post.
Welcome to the new name "SOLEmates & The City, Memoirs of a HoneyB", revamped version of my blog when I first began. At first the direction of this blog was going to be like a news report "The HoneyB Buzz Chronicles" of being single AGAIN & starting the whole dating thing AGAIN -- eh, that would be too time consuming and a headache. Then I thought well this blog can be in way a love letter format but I thought after awhile what if it gets tiresome, played out, confusing or come off real cornballish to the readers. In no way do I "officially" classify myself as a journalist or professional blog writer... yet *chuckles* at least not for now *wink*.
Blessed enough to inherit the best part of my family's DNA allows me the freedom to further develop & expand in all areas of my life. I do have other creative talents which may or may not be mentioned in later posts. The key thing to restarting my blog is to write about what I know, how I am feeling at that particular moment, and the things I appreciate most. Just a natural expression of myself and real experiences be it personal or by association.
What I know:
I am a "Sex & the City" combined "Bohemian & the Islands" type of woman with an eclectic taste for life. I am soft & pink & yes a bit feisty with dominate tendencies which may come off brutal some times. Being single can be liberating, means a clean slate, a time to self reflect, a better chance to get to know yourself, re-focus on your direction with your career and make more of your own money to secure your future. Now here's the thing, all that is great believe me it really is. I need to admit & be allowed to say to you that being single does get lonely.
How I am feeling:
Well put it this way why can't I have it all? a woman who is independent, a woman knows exacting what I want in this life, a woman who knows exactly who I am meant to be in this life, a woman who knows exactly what I want to do for a living & succeed at it and a woman with the right to be careful about the type of man I want to settle down, have children & spend my life with. I get annoyed when people tell me "oh you're too picky that's why things never work out for you. Its not like you're getting any younger" . Ugh,!!!! *straight up middle finger* so OK the solution is to what... settle with someone in hopes of what...
* that one day I will be in love with him
* that one day in our relationship I hope to see myself falling in love with him
* be in a relationship out of obligation or wanting a child before its too late
* even with the stigmata of regrets I'm in this relationship so I'll just stick it out
... uh yeah... don't think so. I call that desperate love or convenience not real love.
Things I love:
Love being a woman its a beautiful thing and not afraid to show it. Love that I grew up in the barrios of NYC. Love that I AM struggling and STILL remain positive & optimistic about my life. Love the wide range of arts, vibrant cultures & lifestyles that exists through out the city. Love the fact that I can go further with honey than with vinegar in any situation. Love men who are not afraid to grow & build with a independent, confident, goal-oriented, sensual woman. Love a great pair of shoes -- there are a variety of styles, shapes, sizes, colors, $$$ -- like men, they both should have style, quality, make you feel comfortable, the right fit, and compliments your personality.
If you happened to accidentally come across this blog, been referred, or follow me on twitter or facebook. I really appreciate you for taking the time to read this and look forwarding to having you stop by next time.
(Happy Birthday "Gigs" memories of our paths crossing in this life will always be in my heart. R.I.P.)
"Carpe Diem Today"
xoxo,
S.A.T.C.
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